After driving an hour, I finally arrived at an old wooden rustic house. Covering the front yards were rusted bikes and rolling balls of every size. Stepping over the debris, I started knocking on the old wooden front door. Upon arriving, greeting me were two large barking and jumping dogs. After 1000’s closings, I just had a feeling I was in for a show!
A middle-aged man in an open flowing robe met me at the door, exposing bright, colorful geometric pajamas. The entertainment was beginning. A moment later, Barbara, the signor, was standing in front of me. Her hair was flying in every direction as she turned and shouted orders over the excited dogs.
All The Men
After that, Barbara began introducing all the men sitting and standing in the small living room. Allan, the first husband (and the kids’ father), came forward. Next in line was Taylor, the 2nd husband. Lastly was Kevin, the current live-in boyfriend, smiling as he stepped over toys. I kept thinking nametags should be hanging on everyone’s shirts. Barbara was a therapist, and I honestly think she needed one!
Subsequently, we began signing the documents. Additionally, I said we should be calling Larry, the second party signing three pages. Is the expression: “Who’s on first, and What’s on Second” appropriate? Confusion was resonating in the small signing area.
The Grateful Dead Joined The Party
Moreover, as we began the actual signing, my eyes were drawn to the bright swirling colors on the walls. The rock photos and background music transformed the bleak room into a rocker arena. On the walls were classic Grateful Dead posters painting the room. Suddenly, the sounds of humming “Sugar Magnolia” and “Fire on the Mountain” were filling the room. “The Grateful Dead” were joining the party! Images of skeletons and flashing lights were jumping from wall hangings. All in the room were traveling back in time. Barbara related that the posters were from another past boyfriend. Hence, unfortunately, all her treasured art pictures would depart and be returning to another ex! Barbara was shedding a tear, that she was not very good with relationships and that everything and everyone never lasted. Was Barbara most upset for forsaking; the men or the posters? So many questions are being left unanswered!
A Surprise Guest
The signing continued with the dogs howling and the kids asking for food. Now it was time to get Larry. Barbara began yelling for Larry lounder and lounder. Instead of hearing the name Larry-we were hearing Dad come on down now. In fact, Larry was not an ex but her father. Barbara continued yelling, get up, get up, you lazy, no good! Larry came down the stairs; very slowly, half asleep in his long sloppy pajamas.
Furthermore, Larry/Dad kept asking what I was signing and why I was here. Finally, Barbara directed this half-asleep nightmare to sign in the most emphatic tone. Barbara told me this was her Dad’s tiny house, and all are living as one happy family. Once again, Barbara kept whimpering; I am just not good at relationships. In addition, Barbara kept thanking me for keeping my cool with all the drama.
Some Learn Some Do Not
We all have our adventures, some learning from mistakes, and many never learning, But, unfortunately, the misjudgments of Barbara were never-ending Whom am I to judge!
In conclusion, we all will be missing “The Grateful Dead” posters, But, to be coining a word from the closing and the posters, I am grateful for my experiences. The journey from world trekking to notary trekking, and the lessons learned.—reinvention, discovery, and keeping it real.
You’re the BEST!!!
Thanks for the great stories. I keep looking forward to new stories.
Thanks, Ken, for your support and continued reading of my weekly posts. You are a “Deadhead,” my type of guy!
the trekking notary.
From a former dead head, an interesting story and descriptive enough that I can picture the house and caos. Keep the tales coming.
Love this! So funny and quirky